Tuesday, November 25, 2008

You've lost that lovin' feeling...

I'll get into the title of my posting in a second after I talk about this week's Project feeder watch results. Things were a little quieter at the feeders the days I counted, I'm not sure if it was the sudden drop in temperature or if I just wasn't catching the right day. I also switched out the crap bird seed with some black sunflower seed in the hopper feeder...it's slowly catching on. But, not as fast as I had expected. I moved the office to the kitchen table so I could really watch the activity both Thursday and Friday. I did see a species of bird I had never noticed before, so that was kind of cool. I snapped this photo this morning of the Feline Unit of Squirrel Patrol with Merlin. He's not as affective as the Canine Unit I have to report. I think he's just doing surveillance for the tactical team of Sam and Lars.

Here's the count -
  • Song Sparrows - 3
  • Carolina Wren - 2
  • Chickadee - 4
  • Mourning Dove - 1
  • Junco - 4
  • White Throated Sparrow - 1 (He's the newbie)
  • House Sparrow - 1
  • Titmouse - 2
  • Goldfinch - 1
  • Cardinal - 2

I attempted to take a photo of the Cardinal with my cell phone. He is very skittish and if I get any closer to that door, he's gone. I was surprised at the lack of Blue Jays which I did see this weekend. I continued to watch this Saturday while working at the kitchen table. Of course, the bird feeders were jammed with visitors. I should have kept counting and threw away Thursday's count. I wonder if there are people who do that.

Anyway...on to my enigmatic title. I have to say this year was the year of apathy for me...not just gardening but everything - work, dogs, life. I had a year that had me back in the role of care taker for Eric and then Sam. I had a new puppy which I had no idea would be like raising a baby. Then Sam became deathly ill and almost left us this early summer, right in the middle of my busiest time of year. Right there I can see why I'm tired. Then pile on top of that $4.00/gallon gas, rising food & utilities costs, and then let's finish that all up with the world's economy imploding on itself.

I couldn't bring myself to get into the yard this year. I didn't get any new plants other than the ones I bought with my brother's birthday gift card. I couldn't get myself to feel the lust and the love for getting my hands dirty. I couldn't justify spending money on plants where it needed to go to the vet bills, groceries, and gas. I know a lot of people felt the same way. I started to wonder if I had finally gone and done it with burning myself out. It's possible and I look much forward to the quiet and tranquility that winter brings. This fall, I confessed to a couple of my closest clients what I had been feeling and they echoed my sentiments. Joanie who was crazed about plants to the point I had to chide her when she came home with something new which we had no place for, wasn't into her gardens this year. Another client who normally is gung ho about what is going to take place in their garden was more like ho hum. I didn't feel that badly then after knowing there are more gardeners out there who's love for horticulture is waning under the pressures of life. I wonder if we (collectively) are all tired of everything...the wars, the failing economy, the mortgage crunch, the constant barrage of bad news we hear every day.

The other day I was on Garden Web's New England Forum and saw this thread - Lost the Lust .
Talk about validating feelings. Like I mentioned, it's comforting to know I'm now alone in this feeling of apathy. I hope the winter brings us the rest we all need and spring can truly be a season of renewal for us all.

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