Close encounters of the tortured nature kind.

Several weeks ago, I had mentioned that I had a photo of "professional landscaping" which I felt I had to share with my readers. I couldn't find it on my laptop and I was bummed I couldn't discuss the techniques used at this one particular site. Well, I just located it on my external hard drive...bring on the snark!

BEHOLD THE AWFULNESS!!!!

DEAR GOD!!! I don't even know where to start but I will preface my comments with how I came across this sight. I had pulled into a local McDonalds' drive thru one morning this early summer for a much needed extra large coffee. After fidgeting with the radio a little bit, I turned and saw this to the left of me. It begged me to snap a photo and try to help spread the word of please don't do this to plants.

Maybe I'll start with the horrible orange mulch...something I like to call Gas Station Mulch. There is no wood that is naturally that color...anywhere. You know how they get it that color? Orange dye. That's not "cedar" as so many people are lead to believe. I am pleased to see that the popularity of day-glo orange mulch is waning and the major culprits are low grade landscapers and people over the age of 95. When I was doing the retail scene over 10 years ago, it seemed like the older crowd seemed to love that orange mulch. Thank god most of my clients like the more natural colored mulches like dark brown and black which are much more useful for setting off the plants nicely. Day-glo orange mulch doesn't even set off that red wall or those poor, suffering gold thread cypress. **shudder**

That's as good of a segway as any to discuss the pruning. Those cypress in that photo are about 2 feet by 2 feet in a neat, little hockey puck. I can't even call them "muffins" like I like to refer to massive sheared green foundation plants. For my readers who are not familiar with what gold thread cypress looks like in the wild, here you go -

http://www.uah.edu/admin/Fac/grounds/FILIFERA.HTM

Depending on the variety, these guys can get get anywhere from 4' tall to 10' tall. They aren't meant to stay 2' by 2' in a weird puck shape. It's completely obvious that whoever pruned them didn't give two darns about the natural drooping habit. If they did, they wouldn't shape them into mini-ufo's. It completely boggles my mind why landscape "professionals" think it is perfectly okay to do this to plants. Do they not care, do they not know, or is it a mix of both? One thing I probably can bet that whoever did this were the cheapest company who bid on this job.

Talk about a perfect example of "you get what you pay for."